Ser Andrey Dalt: "I have a wonderful horse and a very fine sword, and my valor is second to... well, several, actually."
Garin: “More like several hundred, ser.”
Ser Gerold Dayne (Darkstar): “Daynes have been killing Oakhearts for several thousand years.”
Princess Arianna Martell: “It seems to me that Oakhearts have been killing Daynes for just as long.”
Darkstar: “We all have our family traditions.”
Ser Daven Lannister: “How is Cersei? Beautiful as ever?”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “Radiant.” Fickle. “Golden.” False as fool’s gold.
Ser Daven Lannister: “I beat your brother bloody in a mêlée once. The runty little fool took offense when I asked him if that was his sister dancing naked on his shield.”
Lewys Piper: “She’s the sigil of our House. We don’t have a sister.”
Ser Daven Lannister: “More’s the pity. Your sigil has nice teats. What sort of man hides behind a naked woman, though? Every time I thumped your brother’s shield, I felt unchivalrous.”
Michael: “Wow. Littlefinger’s teaching Sansa how to think…”
“When she woke the next morning, she was blind.” </chapter>
Michael: …………. The next time I read that line, it better say something different.
Ser Jaime Lannister: “The girl has been pardoned. No harm will come to her. You have my word on that.”
Ser Brynden Tully: “Your word of honor? Do you even know what honor is?”
Ser Jaime Lannister: A horse.
…
Ser Jaime Lannister: “This defiance serves no purpose, ser. The war is done, and your Young Wolf is dead.”
Ser Brynden Tully: “Murdered in breach of all the sacred laws of hospitality.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “Frey’s work, not mine.”
Ser Brynden Tully: “Call it what you will. It stinks of Tywin Lannister.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “My father is dead as well.”
Ser Brynden Tully: “May the Father judge him justly.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: Now, there’s an awful prospect.
Woman: “Lady? I’m no lady. I’m the queen.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “My sister will be surprised to hear that.”
Woman: “Lord Ryman crowned me his very self. I’m the queen o’ whores.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: No, my sweet sister holds that title too.
Ser Jaime Lannister (to Ser Ilyn Payne, who is mute, for those of you who haven’t read the books): “Well, shut your bloody mouth and kill me if you can.”
[More proof that Jaime has changed for the better]
Ser Ronnet Connington (Red Ronnet): “The bear was less hairy than that freak, I’ll–“
Jaime’s golden hand cracked him across the mouth so hard the other knight went stumbling down the steps.
Ser Jaime Lannister: “You are speaking of a highborn lady, ser. Call her by her name. Call her Brienne.”
Soldier: “It’s the bleeding Kingslayer, boys. Bugger me with a bloody spear.”
Ser Jaimed Lannister: “You heard the man. Find a nice long spear, and shove it up his arse.
Soldier: “You keep that bloody thing away from me!”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “Only a fool makes threats he’s not prepared to carry out. If I were to threaten to hit you unless you shut your mouth, and you presumed to speak, what do you think I’d do?”
Ser Ryman Frey: “Ser, you do unders–“
Jaime hit him.
Ser Jaime Lannister: “You have a fat head, Ser Ryman, and a thick neck as well. Ser Ilyn, how many strokes would it take you to cut through that neck?”
Ser Ilyn laid a single finger against his nose.
Ser Jaime Lannister: Jaime laughed. “An empty boast. I say three.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “I am told your wife is pretty. She’d have to be, for you to bed her while your sister and your king were being murdered.”
Lord Edmure Tully: “I never knew. There were fiddlers outside the bedchamber…”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “And Lady Roslin was distracting you.”
Lord Edmure Tully: “She… they made her do it, Lord Walder and the rest. Roslin never wanted… she wept, but I thought it was…”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “The sight of your rampant manhood? Aye, that would make any woman weep, I’m sure.”
Lord Robert Arryn: “I want a hundred lemon cakes and five tales!”
Alayne Stone (Lady Sansa Stark-Lannister): I’d like to give you a hundred spankings and five slaps.
Prince Doran Martell: “He has gone to bring us back our heart’s desire.”
Princess Arianne Martell: “What is our heart’s desire?”
Prince Doran Martell: “Vengence.” His voice was soft, as if he were afraid that someone might be listening. “Justice.” Prince Doran pressed the onyx dragon into her palm with his swollen, gouty fingers, and whispered, “Fire and blood.”
[STOP DOING THIS!]
Brienne sucked in air desperately, even as the rope was strangling her. Nothing had ever hurt so much.
She screamed a word. </chapter>
Michael: “Great. I have to wait 2 to 3 years for ONE WORD…”
Strongboar: “A fish on a leash. There’s a sight I never saw before.”
Ser Daven Lannister: “Half of Lannisport was mourning. The female half.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “You were a knight once, ser. So was I. Let us see what we are now.”
Ser Bonifer Hasty: “No beast would be so bold. These are demons in the skins of wolves, sent to chastise us for our sins.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: “This must have been an uncommonly sinful horse.”
Ser Jaime Lannister: Make a habit of it, Lannister, and one day men might call you Goldenhand after all. Goldenhand the Just.
Ser Ilyn made the perfect drinking companion. He never interrupted, never disagreed, never complained or asked for favors or told long pointless stories. All he did was drink and listen.
Ser Jaime Lannister: “I should have the tongues removed from all my friends, and from my kin as well. A silent Cersei would be sweet.”
[And finally, one of the best parts of the book, after Cersei is arrested 
]
Maester Vyman: “The bird was from King’s Landing. I took the liberty… I did not know…” He held the letter out.
Jaime read it in the window seat, bathed in the light of that cold white morning. Qyburn’s words were terse and to the point, Cersei’s fevered and fervent. Come at once, she said. Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.
Vyman was hovering by the door, waiting, and Jaime sensed that Peck was watching too.
Maester Vyman: “Does my lord wish to answer?”
A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck.
Ser Jaime Lannister: “No. Put this in the fire.”
)
